A few things I've realized...

Losing two babies back to back was such a hard thing to go through. Eric and I had been married 2 months when we found out we were pregnant with Gunnar and we were so excited. A few months later the wind was taken out of our sails when we lost him. Nine months later we were pregnant again and we went through the same process of grief when we lost Ruger. Nine months later again when we found out we were pregnant with this little boy, we were both nervous and anxious but in a way, I was hoping that by carrying this pregnancy to term, maybe it would take away the pain of losing our other two boys. I was hoping it would fill that void that was left and numb the ache I felt to hold Gunnar and Ruger. For about the first 6 months of this pregnancy I was on cloud nine and with every hurdle we cleared I became more and more excited. Now that I've had time to come back to reality, I'm realizing that I still ache to hold Gunnar and Ruger (and yes it is a physical ache). Leaving the hospital both times without my babies was the worst feeling. My arms ached to hold my boys.

Even though I still miss my boys and ache to hold them, being pregnant with this little one has helped to dull that ache. He has given me something to look forward to. I look forward to holding him and kissing him and smelling him. I look forward to watching him grow and helping him learn...He has been my light at the end of the tunnel.

I love all of my kids so much! I'm so grateful to be able to say that I have an eternal family and I will get a chance to raise Gunnar and Ruger during the millennium if I live my life right. It gives me something positive to work on!

Belly pictures

I decided I wanted to celebrate this pregnancy. We've waited a couple of years for a healthy pregnancy so it's been exciting to get this far along! A friend from our ward told me that she would do the pictures for me because she is wanting to get into photography and could use the practice. I think she did such a great job! I wish I would have done this 8 years ago with Rohbi but I had never seen this done until the last few years or so. I also wish I had had the opportunity to do this with Gunnar and Ruger. I realize I put this on Facebook but I do have some people who follow our blog who are not on Facebook. We have all been so excited about this pregnancy and the further along I got the more hopeful we got. This pregnancy has been amazing!! I haven't had a lot of nausea, the baby has been healthy and strong and VERY active! People ask me if I'm ready to be done with it yet. Honestly, no. I'm not that uncomfortable yet. I have enjoyed every minute of this pregnancy! I am eager to meet this little boy but I guess in a selfish way, I still want a little bit more time to just spend with him before I have to share with everyone else. :) I love this little boy so much!!! Rohbi has wanted to be involved with this pregnancy from the minute she found out that I was pregnant and when we found out that we were having a boy, she has wanted to be involved in choosing the name. She has decided that we should name him Copper Kirt Bates. I'm not sure I'm too excited about this name but we'll pretend, for her sake, that we are taking it into consideration. :)

At my last doctor's appointment I had an ultrasound and he measured big. I am at 33 weeks right not and his head measured at 36 weeks, the rest of him measured at 35 weeks, and the estimated his weight to be at around 5 pounds. I realize there is room for error when they do measurements on an ultrasound but I'm kinda freaked out! lol The tech told me that if he grows like he's supposed to, he could weigh over 9 pounds when he is born! Yikes!!! Rohbi was 8lbs 10oz so it couldn't be too much worse could it?

Anyway, as usual, this post is going to be picture heavy. I guess all the pictures just show how indecisive I am :) I am going to print out a few of these pictures and hang them in his room so if you have any suggestions or favorites, let me know! Please don't mind all the weight I've put on and all the stretch marks I have...just enjoy the pictures! :) Okay enough of my blabbering...

I'm finally caught up!!!

I spent all day doing it but I'm all caught up! So here they go in order:

Our trip to Arizona (it is an older post because I started on it and didn't finish it so you might have to look a little for it)
Rohbi's birthday
Spring 2010 Dance Recital
Girls' Weekend 2010
4th of July
Extreme Makeover: Home Edition
Haloween 2010
Fun in the Snow
A few projects I've done recently
Bath time for the kitties
Tavaci Christmas Concert
We are an eternal family!
Christmas 2010
Winter Dance Recital 2011
Holy moly! We've been invaded by canning jars!!!

Holy moly!!! We've been invaded by canning jars!!!

Eric has a friend who recently lost his mom. He asked Eric if he would help him clean out his mom and dad's house up in Twin. In the process of cleaning out the house they cleaned out their food storage and Gary graciously let Eric take some of the jars. Eric came home with the back of his truck PACKED with canning jars. And that was only a portion of the jars. Gary and his family still got a trailer full and there were still jars left at the house. Thank you so much Gary! We really appreciate it!

Don't mind the mess on our counter...we are still trying to get some of the jars cleaned out and ran through the dishwasher!

These were all filled to the top with jars

Izzy is helping count the jars :)

And this is still only a portion of what we got! We have some in the dishwasher, some in our mud room and at least 8 more boxes out in our garage!!!

Winter Dance Recital 2011

I was hoping to get some more pictures but of course my camera died! Rohbi did such a great job! I was so proud of her!!

Christmas 2010

She was feeling around in her stocking and felt something big. She thought it was a huge piece of candy and was disappointed to find out that it was an orange! lol We all got a little spoiled this year!

She finally got her American Girl Doll!!!

She was so excited!!!!!

Every year I trust that Eric is only going to get me a small present if he gets me anything at all. We already pretty much have everything we both need so we just end up getting each other something small but meaningful. This year all I asked for from him was a new knife set. Well, I did get that and thought that was all I was going to get. After we finished opening all the presents, Eric tells me that there is one more gift under the tree for me. I was ready to kill him because he wasn't supposed to get me anything else. So I start opening the gift and open a box and find a flat, black box. I open the box and inside is a PINK 38!!!!! I was so excited I screamed! I felt so bad though because all I got him was a plaque I got made that has his priesthood line of authority. Even though it is meaningful, I felt like I didn't get him as good of a gift as he got me. He's so good to me!

We are an eternal family!

December 18, 2010 we were sealed together for time and all eternity! It was one of the most overwhelming, rewarding, emotional days of my life. I am so thankful that we finally made it! We had friends and family who had a ways to travel and some who didn't have to travel very far but we were so grateful to have them there and share this wonderful day with us!

Oh my child...sometimes I wonder where she came from. Here we are trying to get a nice family picture taken and she has to throw this in! What a ham!